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TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."
Tougher In Texas
I get a big laugh at the dialogue of Osama bin Laden, the Taliban,
politicians, and the news media. They say terrorists will hit us again
in the oncoming weeks and months. What a joke! You have a better chance
of getting killed on Interstate 35E than by a terrorist.
Osama has probably seen 100 degree plus summers in Afghanistan, but he
doesn't have fire ants to go with it. If he did he wouldn't be sleeping
on the ground in his cave. He talks of pain and suffering he is going
to
inflict on us. He doesn't know what pain is until he gets kicked by a
green broke, two year old colt in a freezing rain.
Germ warfare?
Texas ticks will give you Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and Lime
disease,
blister beetles kill your horse, green bugs destroy a wheat crop, and
termites eat your house. Anthrax has killed Texas cattle for over 125
years.
What's new?
Our prairie dogs carry the plague, armadillos carry leprosy, and our
bats and skunks carry rabies. We have rattlesnakes, copperheads, and
water moccasins. Ho hum.
They talk of gas and biological warfare.
They have never pulled in behind a cattle truck while it's raining, or
ridden in the front seat of a pick-up between two cowboys after they
just eaten a big bowl of Texas Red chili.
Texas ain't for sissies! We have posted signs all over the state that
say... "Don't mess with Texas!"
Osama, consider yourself warned!
Osama Found
News services are reporting that Osama bin Laden has been captured by U.S. Special Forces.
In a covert operation, the entire country of Afghanistan was sprayed with Viagra and the little prick popped right up.
Just a Thought
Take all American women who are within five years of
menopause - train us
for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons,
grenades, gas masks,
moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate,
and canned tuna - drop
us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of
Afghanistan, and let us
do what comes naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when
doing standard stuff
like grocery shopping and paying bills, is
formidable enough to make even
armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or
die to protect them and
their future. We'd like to get away from our
husbands, if they haven't left
already. And for those of us who are single, the
prospect of finding a good
man with whom to share life is about as likely as
being struck by lightning.
We have nothing to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the
carbohydrate diet, and
the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across
America and never lost a
pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile
terrain of Afghanistan
with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or
lovers in bars, hardware
stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in
some cave will be no
problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a
new government? Oh,
please ... we've planned the seating arrangements
for in-laws and extended
families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we
understand tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know
every trick there is for
how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts
and money sources. We know
how to find that money and we know how to seize it
... with or without the
government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women.
Imagine their terror as we
crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their
godforsaken terrain. I'm going
to write my Congresswoman. You should, too!
Put Me In Coach
A couple of weeks ago I indicated that if I could, I'd
enlist today and help my country track down those
responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, D.C. But I'm 50 now and the Armed Forces says I'm too old to track down terrorists.You can't be older than 35 to join the Army.
They've got the whole thing backwards.Instead of sending 18-year-olds off the fight, they ought to take us old guys.You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35.
For starters:
-- Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex every 15 seconds,
leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
-- Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill
the enemy we'll complain them into submission."My back
hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"
-- An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you
shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to
legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand,
has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the beer belly.
-- An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old
guys get up early just to show we can (and to steal the
neighbor's newspaper).
-- If old guys were captured we couldn't spill the beans
because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact,
name, rank and serial number would be a real brain
teaser.
If it wasn't for the age barrier, I'd pretty much get into
the Army without a hitch. According to the Army Internet
site, I'd need to pass an entrance exam (officially called
an ASVAB), but the sample questions I saw weren't exactly headache material.
For example:
A magnet will attract:
a) water
b) a flower
c) a cloth rag
d) a nail
I took a wild stab and guessed, "nail," knowing they'd
probably stick me in some desk job with Army Intelligence
after Boot Camp.
If 12 workers are needed to run 4 machines, how many workers
are needed to run 20 machines?
a) 16
b) 18
c) 3
d) 60
Let's see ..three workers per machine times 20 machines ..
errr .. hmmm .. uhhh .. 60?
Finally, they wanted to know if I had command of the English language, just in case I had to describe an enemy camp from memory.
Small most nearly means:
a) Sturdy
b) Round
c) Cheap
d) Little
I knew this cheap, little sturdy guy once, but I wrote down
little.
Now you know where the first questions come from for the
"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" game show.
Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys.We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.
The Army could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been to the desert and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now. "Drop and give me...er...one!"
And the running part is kind of a waste of energy.I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
I'm reminded of the story of the young bull and the old bull
standing on a hill looking down on the cows.
"Let's run down there and make love to one of those cows," says the young bull.
"How about we WALK down there and make love to ALL those cows," replies the old bull.
Patience is something most 18-year-olds simply do not have. For good reason, too. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave. To actually
carry on a conversation. To wear pants without the top of
the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out.
To learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles. And
that a 200-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible death.
Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten cowards who
attacked our hearts weeks ago today. The last thing
they'd want to see right now is a couple of million old guys
with attitude.
A Good Idea!
All of the rubble from New York ... all the huge blocks of concrete and steel, the old busted up computers, refrigerators, hot water heaters, air conditioners, fire trucks, broken glass, etc., should be shoveled into C130's and C5A's, flown over Iraq and Afghanistan and dropped from 32,000 feet. A Frigidaire can do a heck of a lot of damage from 5 miles up.
With each assault, we can drop pamphlets: "Greetings, from the 110th floor of the World Trade Center!" The next day it would read, "...from the 109th floor..." Then the 108th, etc., etc. After 110 days of this, I can't imagine there would be much left standing on the ground. Can't you just see the headlines: "WORLD TRADE CENTER STRIKES BACK!"
What wonderful irony this would be, and think how much money we wouldn't have to spend on new bombs or missiles! Not to mention the 100-million tons diverted from the New York City landfill.
Subject: Fw: Warning...
DEAR RECEIVER,
You have just received a Taliban virus. Since we are not so
technologically advanced in Afghanistan, this is a MANUAL
virus.
Please delete all the files on your hard disk yourself
and send this mail to everyone you know.
Thank you very much for helping me.
Talibanian hacker.
A Groaner
The war on terrorism took a strange turn Friday when airline
officials at O'Hare International Airport refused to let a 73-year-
old grandmother board her plane as she had in her possession two six-
inch knitting needles.
Apparently authorities were worried that she
might knit an Afghan.
Subject: Retaliation Instructions
What to do if you happen upon a peace rally by stupid naive
hemp-shirt-wearing college idiots, to teach them why force is
sometimes needed:
1) Approach dumb rich ignorant student talking about "peace"
and saying there should be, "no retaliation."
2) Engage in brief conversation, ask if military force is
appropriate.
3) When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"
4) Wait until he says something to the effect of, "Because that
would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful
and we should not cause more violence."
5) When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard
as you can.
6) When he gets back up to up to punch you, point out that it
would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you,
because that would, "be awful and he should not cause more
violence."
7) Wait until he agrees that he has pledged not to commit
additional violence.
8) Punch him in the face again, harder this time.
Repeat steps 5 through 8 until they understand that
sometimes it is necessary to punch back.
We Are One!
As the soot and dirt and ash rained down, We became one color.
As we carried each other down the stairs of the burning building, We became one class.
As we lit candles of waiting and hope, We became one generation.
As the firefighters and police officers fought their way into the inferno, We became one gender.
As we fell to our knees in prayer for strength, We became one faith.
As we whispered or shouted words of encouragement, We spoke one language.
As we gave our blood in lines a mile long, We became one body.
As we mourned together the great loss, We became one family.
As we cried tears of grief and loss, We became one soul.
As we retell with pride of the sacrifice of heros, We became one people.
We are One color, One class, One generation, One gender, One faith, One language,
One body, One family, One soul, One people.
We are The Power of One.
We are United.
We are America.
Oh Osma Bin Laden
You Son of A Bitch
May Your Balls Develop
A 7 Year Itch
May Your Pecker Be Twisted
In Such A Manner
That Your Asshole Whistles
The Star Spangled Banner!
GOD BLESS AMERICA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BURN THE FLAG?? NOT ON THIS DAY!!
(This is an older one, but its always been one of my favorites--MJD)
It is the soldier, not the reporter
who gave us the freedom of press.
It is the soldier, not the poet
Who gave us the freedom of speech
It is the soldier, who salutes the flag,
Who serves under the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag.
Who allows The protester to burn the flag.
It is the soldier, not the campus organizer
Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier, not the lawyer
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.
A protest raged on the courthouse lawn
Round a makeshift stage they charged on.
Fifteen hundred or more, they say,
Had come to burn a flag that day.
A boy held up the folded flag,
Cursed it, called it a dirty rag.
An old man pushed through the angry crowd
With a rusty shotgun, shouldered PROUD!
His uniform jacket was old and tight.
He had polished each button, shiny and bright.
He crossed the stage with a soldier's grace,
Until he and the boy stood face to face.
"Freedom of speech," the old man said,
"Is worth dying for. Good men are dead
So you can stand on this courthouse lawn
And talk us down from dusk to dawn.
But before any flag gets burned today,
THIS OLD MAN IS GONNA HAVE HIS SAY!!
My father died on a foreign shore
In a war they said would end all war.
Tommy and I weren't even grown
Before we fought in a war of our own.
Tommy died on Iwo Jima's beach,
In the shadow of a hill he couldn't quite reach.
Five good men raised this flag so high,
SO THE WHOLE DAMNED WORLD COULD SEE IT FLY!!
I got this bum leg that I still drag
Fighting for this same old flag.
Now there's but one shot in this old gun,
So now it's time to decide which one,
Which one of you will follow our lead,
To stand and die for what you believe?
As sure as there's a rising sun,
You'll burn in HELL 'fore this flag burns, son!"
Now this riot never came to pass,
The crowd got quiet and that can of gas
Got set aside as they walked away
To talk about what they had heard on that day.
And the boy who had called it a "DIRTY RAG",
handed the old soldier the folded flag.
So the battle of the Flag that day was won,
By a tired OLD SOLDIER with a rusty old gun.
Who for one last time, had to show to some,
"THIS OLD FLAG MAY FADE, BUT THESE COLORS DON'T RUN!!!"
Riddles
Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
Q: What does Osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!
Two Thousand One, Nine Eleven
Two thousand one, nine eleven
Five thousand plus arrive in heaven
As they pass through the gate,
Thousands more appear in wait
A bearded man with stovepipe hat
Steps forward saying, "Lets sit, lets chat"
They settle down in seats of clouds
A man named Martin shouts out proud
"I have a dream!" and once he did
The Newcomer said, "Your dream still lives."
Groups of soldiers in blue and gray
Others in khaki, and green then say
"We're from Bull Run, Yorktown, the Maine"
The Newcomer said, "You died not in vain."
From a man on sticks one could hear
"The only thing we have to fear.
The Newcomer said, "We know the rest,
trust us sir, we've passed that test."
"Courage doesn't hide in caves
You can't bury freedom, in a grave,"
The Newcomers had heard this voice before
A distinct Yankees twang from Hyannis port shores
A silence fell within the mist
Somehow the Newcomer knew that this
Meant time had come for her to say
What was in the hearts of the five thousand plus that day
"Back on Earth, we wrote reports,
Watched our children play in sports
Worked our gardens, sang our songs
Went to church and clipped coupons
We smiled, we laughed, we cried, we fought
Unlike you, great we're not"
The tall man in the stovepipe hat
Stood and said, "don't talk like that!
Look at your country, look and see
You died for freedom, just like me"
Then, before them all appeared a scene
Of rubbled streets and twisted beams
Death, destruction, smoke and dust
And people working just 'cause they must
Hauling ash, lifting stones, Knee deep in hell but not alone
"Look! Blackman, Whiteman, Brownman, Yellowman
Side by side helping their fellow man!"
So said Martin, as he watched the scene
"Even from nightmares, can be born a dream."
Down below three firemen raised
The colors high into ashen haze
The soldiers above had seen it before
On Iwo Jima back in '44
The man on sticks studied everything closely
Then shared his perceptions on what he saw mostly
"I see pain, I see tears,
I see sorrow - but I don't see fear."
"You left behind husbands and wives
Daughters and sons and so many lives
are suffering now because of this wrong
But look very closely. You're not really gone.
All of those people, even those who've never met you
All of their lives, they'll never forget you
Don't you see what has happened?
Don't you see what you've done?
You've brought them together, together as one.
With that the man in the stovepipe hat said
"Take my hand," and from there he led
Five thousand plus heroes, Newcomers to heaven
On this day, two thousand one, nine eleven
Author unknown
Open Letter To America
14 September, 2001
Dear friends and fellow Americans:
Like everyone else in this great country, I am reeling from last week's attack on our sovereignty.
But unlike some, I am not reeling from surprise. As a career soldier and a student and teacher
of military history, I have a different perspective and I think you should hear it.
This war will be won or lost by the American citizens, not diplomats, politicians or soldiers. Let me briefly explain.
In spite of what the media, and even our own government is telling us, this act was not
committed by a group of mentally deranged fanatics. To dismiss them as such would be among
the gravest of mistakes. This attack was committed by a ferocious, intelligent and dedicated
adversary. Don't take this the wrong way. I don't admire these men and I deplore their tactics,
but I respect their capabilities. The many parallels that have been made with the Japanese
attack on Pearl Harbor are apropos. Not only because it was a brilliant sneak attack against
a complacent America, but also because we may well be pulling our new adversaries out of
caves 30 years after we think this war is over, just like my father's generation had to do with the
formidable Japanese in the years following WW II.
These men hate the United States with all of their being, and we must not underestimate the
power of their moral commitment. Napoleon, perhaps the world's greatest combination of soldier
and statesman, stated "the moral is to the physical as three is to one." Patton thought the
Frenchman underestimated its importance and said moral conviction was five times more
important in battle than physical strength.
Our enemies are willing - better said anxious -- to give their lives for their cause. How committed
are we America? And for how long? In addition to demonstrating great moral conviction, the recent
attack demonstrated a mastery of some of the basic fundamentals of warfare taught to most military
officers worldwide, namely simplicity, security and surprise. When I first heard rumors that some of
these men may have been trained at our own Air War College, it made perfect sense to me.
This was not a random act of violence, and we can expect the same sort of military competence to
be displayed in the battle to come.
This war will escalate, with a good portion of it happening right here in the good ol' U.S. of A.
These men will not go easily into the night. They do not fear us. We must not fear them. In spite
of our overwhelming conventional strength as the world's only "superpower" (a truly silly term),
we are the underdog in this fight. As you listen to the carefully scripted rhetoric designed to prepare
us for the march for war, please realize that America is not equipped or seriously trained for the
battle ahead. To be certain, our soldiers are much better than the enemy, and we have some excellent
"counter-terrorist" organizations, but they are mostly trained for hostage rescues, airfield seizures,
or the occasional "body snatch," (which may come in handy). We will be fighting a war of annihilation,
because if their early efforts are any indication, our enemy is ready and willing to die to the last man.
Eradicating the enemy will be costly and time consuming. They have already deployed their forces in
as many as 20 countries, and are likely living the lives of everyday citizens. Simply put, our soldiers
will be tasked with a search and destroy mission on multiple foreign landscapes, and the public must
be patient and supportive until the strategy and tactics can be worked out.
For the most part, our military is still in the process of redefining itself and presided over by men
and women who grew up with - and were promoted because they excelled in - Cold War doctrine,
strategy and tactics. This will not be linear warfare, there will be no clear "centers of gravity" to
strike with high technology weapons. Our vast technological edge will certainly be helpful, but it
will not be decisive.
Perhaps the perfect metaphor for the coming battle was introduced by the terrorists themselves
aboard the hijacked aircraft -- this will be a knife fight, and it will be won or lost by the ingenuity
and will of citizens and soldiers, not by software or smart bombs. We must also be patient with
our military leaders.
Unlike Americans who are eager to put this messy time behind us, our adversaries have time on
their side, and they will use it. They plan to fight a battle of attrition, hoping to drag the battle out
until the American public loses its will to fight. This might be difficult to believe in this euphoric time
of flag waving and patriotism, but it is generally acknowledged that America lacks the stomach for
a long fight.
We need only look as far back as Vietnam, when North Vietnamese General Vo Nguyen Giap
(also a military history teacher) defeated the United States of America without ever winning a
major tactical battle. American soldiers who marched to war cheered on by flag waving Americans
in 1965 were reviled and spat upon less than three years later when they returned. Although we
hope that Usama Bin Laden is no Giap, he is certain to understand and employ the concept.
We can expect not only large doses of pain like the recent attacks, but! also less audacious "sand
in the gears" tactics, ranging from livestock infestations to attacks at water supplies and power
distribution facilities.
These attacks are designed to hit us in our "comfort zone" forcing the average American to "pay
more and play less" and eventually eroding our resolve. But it can only work if we let it. It is clear to
me that the will of the American citizenry - you and I - is the center of gravity the enemy has targeted.
It will be the fulcrum upon which victory or defeat will turn. He believes us to be soft, impatient, and
self-centered. He may be right, but if so, we must change. The Prussian general Carl von Clausewitz,
(the most often quoted and least read military theorist in history), says that there is a "remarkable
trinity of war" that is composed of the (1) will of the people, (2) the political leadership of the government,
and (3) the chance and probability that plays out on the field of battle, in that order. Every American
citizen was in the crosshairs of last Tuesday's attack, not just those that were unfortunate enough to
be in the World Trade Center or Pentagon. The will of the American people will decide this war.
If we are to win, it will be because we have what it takes to persevere through a few more hits, learn
from our! mistakes, improvise, and adapt. If we can do that, we will eventually prevail.
Everyone I've talked to In the past few days has shared a common frustration, saying in one
form or another "I just wish I could do something!" You are already doing it. Just keep faith in America, and continue to support your President and military, and the outcome is certain.
If we fail to do so, the outcome is equally certain.
God Bless America
Dr. Tony Kern, Lt Col, USAF (Ret)
Former Director of Military History, USAF Academy
Letter to Terrorists
Dear Osama bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, and Sadam Hussein, et. al.,
We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your challenge to an old-fashioned
game of whoop-ass. Now that we understand the rule that there are no rules, we look forward to
playing by them for the first time.
Since this game is a winner-take-all, we unfortunately are unable to invite you to join us at the
victory celebration. But rest assured that we will toast you -- LITERALLY.
While we will admit that you are off to an impressive lead, it is however now our turn at the plate.
By the way, we will be playing on your court now.
Batter up.
Sincerely,
The 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America
The Number Eleven
A coincidence hard to ignore
Notice: This information has been displayed for amusement only. It is not intended to convince
anyone that there are underlying supernatural meanings, or influences to what happened
September 11, 2001 in New York City. All skeptics need not be alarmed. We are not trying to convert
you to any form of spiritual awareness, or belief. Please do not feel a need to devote your lives to
debunking this presentation.
Sept. 11 is written 9-11, the telephone code for emergencies.
The sum of the digits in 9-11 (9+1+1) is 11.
Sept. 11 is the 254th day of the year, the sum of (2+5+4) is 11.
After Sept. 11, there remain 111 days in the year.
The Twin Towers of the WTC looked like the number 11.
New York was the 11th State added to the Union, and "New York City" has 11 letters.
The flight number of the first plane to hit the WTC towers was Flight 11.
Flight 11 had 92 people on board - 9 + 2 = 11.
The Muslim lunar calendar advances 11 days every year in relation to our solar calendar.
In Numerology, the Number 11 stands for challenges and strategies.
In the negative sense it stands for treachery, hidden enemies, many difficulties and handicaps
before success is attained.
Timothy McVeigh was executed on June 11, 2001
Remembrance day is November 11.
November is also the 11th month.
Other significant names that have 11 letters: Afghanistan, The Pentagon, Air Force One,
George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Saudi Arabia, Colin Powell, Mohamed Atta, and Skyscrapers.
Question
This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show. Without casting stones, It is a legitimate question. There are two men, both extremely wealthy. One develops relatively cheap software and gives hundreds of millions of dollars to charity, the other sponsors terrorism. That being the case, why is it that the US government has spent more money chasing down Bill Gates over the past ten years than Osama bin Laden?
Poem
Osama Bin Laden, your time is short;
We'd rather you die, than come to court.
Why are you hiding if it was in God's name?
You're a punk with a turban; a pathetic shame.
I have a question, about your theory and laws;
"How come YOU never die for the cause?"
Is it because you're a coward who counts on others?
Well, here in America, we stand by our brothers.
As is usual, you failed in your mission;
If you expected pure chaos, you can keep on wishin'
Americans are now focused and stronger than ever;
Your death has become our next endeavor.
What you tried to kill, doesn't live in our walls;
It's not in buildings or shopping malls.
If all of our structures came crashing down;
It would still be there, safe and sound.
Because pride and courage can't be destroyed;
Even if the towers leave a deep void.
We'll band together and fill the holes
We'll bury our dead and bless their souls.
But then our energy will focus on you;
And you'll feel the wrath of the Red, White and Blue.
So slither and hide like a snake in the grass;
Because America's coming to kick your ass!!!
America Still Stands
Out of the morning sky and far beneath the veil of heaven,
Evil pierced the heart of freedom, drawing blood on September eleven. Terror came on silver wings, choking our lungs with dust, Claiming innocents and heroes, stealing six thousand from us. Why? How? Who? The questions rose from amidst our fears, For both the brave and weak that day, were drenched in salty tears. Mountains of rubble were cleared by tireless, hope-filled hands, And when the dust finally settled, it was revealed, America Still Stands!
American Holiday
Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a psychic about the date of his death. Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future she finds the answer. "You will die on an American holiday." "Which one?" Osama bin Laden asks nervously. "It doesn't matter," replied the psychic. "Whenever you die, it will be an American holiday."
What To Do With Osama (bin-slimebag)
Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore, I suggest we do neither. Let the SAS, Seals or whatever covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed hospital and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation. Then we return 'HER' to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban. Whadaya think?
This came to us from a good friend of ours and we felt we should include it on the site. A different perspective, as they say! (Thanks, Paul)
Dear Colleagues, As we reflect upon the tragic events of this week and an appropriate "response," I thought you might like to see this letter from my college roommate, Tamim Ansary, who grew up in Afghanistan. I think he offers an interesting perspective on Bin Laden, the Taliban, and Afghanistan.
Toivo Kallas Department of Biology & Microbiology
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2001 10:14:27 -0700
Dear Friends, Yesterday I heard a lot of talk about "bombing Afghanistan back to the Stone Age." Ronn Owens, on KGO Talk Radio allowed that this would mean killing innocent people, people who had nothing to do with this atrocity, but "we're at war, we have to accept collateral damage," and he asked "What else can we do? What is your suggestion?".
Minutes later I heard a TV pundit discussing whether we "have the belly to do what must be done." And I thought about these issues especially hard because I am from Afghanistan, and even though I've lived here for 35 years I've never lost track of what's been going on over there. So I want to share a few thoughts with anyone who will listen.
I speak as one who hates the Taliban and Osama Bin Laden. There is no doubt in my mind that these people were responsible for the atrocity in New York. I fervently wish to see those monsters punished. But the Taliban and Ben Laden are not Afghanistan. They're not even the government of Afghanistan. The Taliban are a cult of ignorant psychotics who captured Afghanistan in 1997 and have been holding the country in bondage ever since.
Bin Laden is a political criminal with a master plan. When you think Taliban, think Nazis. When you think Bin Laden, think Hitler. And when you think "the people of Afghanistan" think "the Jews in the concentration camps." It's not only that the Afghan people had nothing to do with this atrocity. They were the first victims of the perpetrators. They would love for someone to eliminate the Taliban and clear out the rats nest of international thugs holed up in their country. I guarantee it.
Some say, if that's the case, why don't the Afghans rise up and overthrow the Taliban themselves? The answer is, they're starved, exhausted, damaged, and incapacitated. A few years ago, the United Nations estimated that there are 500,000 disabled orphans in Afghanistan--a country with no economy, no food. Millions of Afghans are widows of the approximately two million men killed during the war with the Soviets. And the Taliban has been executing these women for being women and have buried some of their opponents alive in mass graves. The soil of Afghanistan is littered with land mines and almost all the farms have been destroyed . The Afghan people have tried to overthrow the Taliban. They haven't been able to.
We come now to the question of bombing Afghanistan back to the Stone Age. Trouble with that scheme is, it's already been done. The Soviets took care of it . Make the Afghans suffer? They're already suffering. Level their houses? Done. Turn their schools into piles of rubble? Done. Eradicate their hospitals? Done. Destroy their infrastructure? There is no infrastructure. Cut them off from medicine and health care? Too late. Someone already did all that. New bombs would only land in the rubble of earlier bombs. Would they at least get the Taliban? Not likely.
In today's Afghanistan, only the Taliban eat, only they have the means to move around. They'd slip away and hide. (They have already, I hear.) Maybe the bombs would get some of those disabled orphans, they don't move too fast, they don't even have wheelchairs. But flying over Kabul and dropping bombs wouldn't really be a strike against the criminals who did this horrific thing. Actually it would be making common cause with the Taliban--by raping once again the people they've been raping all this time
So what else can be done, then? Let me now speak with true fear and trembling. The only way to get Bin Laden is to go in there with ground troops. I think that when people speak of "having the belly to do what needs to be done" many of them are thinking in terms of having the belly to kill as many as needed. They are thinking about overcoming moral qualms about killing innocent people. But it's the belly to die not kill that's actually on the table. Americans will die in a land war to get Bin Laden. And not just because some Americans would die fighting their way through Afghanistan to Bin Laden's hideout. It's much bigger than that, folks.
To get any troops to Afghanistan, we'd have to go through Pakistan. Would they let us? Not likely. The conquest of Pakistan would have to be first. Will other Muslim nations just stand by? You see where I'm going. The invasion approach is a flirtation with global war between Islam and the West. And that is Bin Laden's program. That's exactly what he wants and why he did this thing. Read his speeches and statements. It's all right there. AT the moment, of course, "Islam" as such does not exist. There are Muslims and there are Muslim countries, but no such political entity as Islam. Bin Laden believes that if he can get a war started, he can constitute this entity and he'd be running it. He really believes Islam would beat the west. It might seem ridiculous, but he figures if he can polarize the world into Islam and the West, he's got a billion soldiers. If the West wreaks a holocaust in Muslim lands, that's a billion people with nothing left to lose, even better from Bin Laden's point of view.
He's probably wrong about winning, in the end the west would probably overcome--whatever that would mean in such a war; but the war would last for years and millions would die, not just theirs but ours. Who has the belly for that? Bin Laden yes, but anyone else? I don't have a solution. But I do believe that suffering and poverty are the soil in which terrorism grows. Bin Laden and his cohorts want to bait us into creating more such soil, so they and their kind can flourish. We can't let him do that. That's my humble opinion.
Tamim Ansary Horace Mann Middle School Neenah, WI
An Open Letter To The Terrorists
Well, you hit the World Trade Center, but you missed America. You hit the Pentagon, but you missed America. You used helpless American bodies, to take out other American bodies, but like a poor marksman, you STILL missed America.
Why? Because of something you guys will never understand. America isn't about a building or two, not about financial centers, not about military centers, America isn't about a place, America isn't even about a bunch of bodies. America is about an IDEA. An idea, that you can go someplace where you can earn as much as you can figure out how to, live for the most part, like you envisioned living, and pursue Happiness.
(No guarantees that you'll reach it, but you can sure try!)
Go ahead and whine your terrorist whine, and chant your terrorist litany: "If you can not see my point, then feel my pain." This concept is alien to Americans. We live in a country where we don't have to see your point. But you're free to have one. We don't have to listen to your speech. But you're free to say one. Don't know where you got the strange idea that everyone has to agree with you. We don't agree with each other in this country, almost as a matter of pride. We're a collection of guys that don't agree, called States. We united our individual states to protect ourselves from tyranny in the world. Another idea, we made up on the spot. You CAN make it up as you go, when it's your country. If you're free enough.
Yeah, we're fat, sloppy, easy-going goofs most of the time. That's an unfortunate image to project to the world, but it comes of feeling free and easy about the world you live in. It's unfortunate too, because people start to forget that when you attack Americans, they tend to fight like a cornered badger. The first we knew of the War of 1812, was when England burned Washington D.C. to the ground. Didn't turn out like England thought it was going to, and it's not going to turn out like you think, either. Sorry, but you're not the first bully on our shores, just the most recent.
No Marquis of Queensbury rules for Americans, either. We were the FIRST and so far, only country in the world to use nuclear weapons in anger. Horrific idea, nowadays? News for you bucko, it was back then too, but we used it anyway. Only had two of them in the whole world and we used 'em both. Grandpa Jones worked on the Manhattan Project. Told me once, that right up until they threw the switch, the physicists were still arguing over whether the Uranium alone would fission, or whether it would start a fissioning chain reaction that would eat everything. But they threw the switch anyway, because we had a War to win. Does that tell you something about American Resolve?
So who just declared War on us? It would be nice to point to some real estate, like the good old days. Unfortunately, we're probably at war with random camps, in far-flung places. Who think they're safe. Just like the Barbary Pirates did. They were wrong. So are you. Better start sleeping with one eye open.
There's a spirit that tends to take over people who come to this country, looking for opportunity, looking for liberty, looking for freedom. Even if they misuse it. The Marielistas that Castro emptied out of his prisons, were overjoyed to find out how much freedom there was. First thing they did when they hit our shores, was run out and buy guns. The ones that didn't end up dead, ended up in prisons. It was a big problem then (especially in south Florida). We solved that problem. As for you, you're only the newest problem, not the first.
You guys seem to be incapable of understanding that we don't live in America, America lives in US! American Spirit is what it's called. And killing a few thousand of us, or a few million of us, won't change it. Most of the time, it's a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of Spirit. Until we're crossed in a cowardly manner, then it becomes an entirely different kind of Spirit.
Wait until you see what we do with that Spirit, this time.
Sleep tight, if you can. We're coming.
Can you believe this?
Broken Arrow, Oklahoma School officials remove "God Bless America" signs from schools in fear that someone might be offended.
Channel 12 News in Long Island, New York, orders flags removed from the newsroom and red, white, and blue ribbons removed from the lapels of reporters. Why? Management did not want to appear biased and felt that our nations flag might give the appearance that "they lean one way or another."
Berkeley, California bans US Flags from being displayed on city fire trucks because they didn't want to offend anyone in the community.
In an "act of tolerance" the head of the public library at Florida Gulf Coast University ordered all "Proud to be an American" signs removed so as to not offend international students.
I, for one, am quite disturbed by these actions of so-called American citizens; and I am tired of this nation worrying about whether or not we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on September 11, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans. However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled in New York and Washington, DC when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.
I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. In fact, our country's population is almost entirely composed of descendants of immigrants; however, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some native Americans, need to understand.
First of all, it is not our responsibility to continually try not to offend you in any way. This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language, and our own lifestyle. This culture, called the "American Way" has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom. Our forefathers fought, bled, and died at places such as Bunker Hill, Antietam, San Juan, Iwo Jima, Normandy, Korea, Vietnam, We speak English, not Spanish, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society - learn our language!
"In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some off-the-wall, Christian, Right Wing, political slogan - it is our national motto. It is engraved in stone in the House of Representatives in our Capitol and it is printed on our currency. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation; and this is clearly documented throughout our history. If it is appropriate for our motto to be inscribed in the halls of our highest level of Government, then it is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools.
God is in our pledge, our National Anthem, nearly every patriotic song, and in our founding documents. We honor His birth, death, and resurrection as holidays, and we turn to Him in prayer in times of crisis. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture and we are proud to have Him.
We are proud of our heritage and those who have so honorably defended our freedoms. We celebrate Independence Day, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Flag Day. We have parades, picnics, and barbecues where we proudly wave our flag. As an American, I have the right to wave my flag, sing my national anthem, quote my national motto, and cite my pledge whenever and wherever I choose. If the Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet.
The American culture is our way of life, our heritage, and we are proud of it. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. We are Americans, like it or not, this is our country, our land, and our lifestyle.
Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion about our government, culture, or society, and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag, our pledge, our national motto, or our way of life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great American freedom, the right to leave.
Author, unknown
Riddles
Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common? A: Nothing, yet.
Q: How do you play Taliban bingo? A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
Q: What is the Taliban's national bird? A: Duck
Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a bucket of shit? A: The bucket
Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan? A: Two days.
Q: What's the difference between Christmas and Osama Bin Laden? A: There will be a Christmas in December
Q: Why don't Bin Laden's people eat shit sandwiches? A: They can't stand bread
Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day? A: Because the camels can't handle it
Commentary on the Pledge of Allegiance by Red Skelton
As a schoolboy, one of Red Skelton's teachers explained the words and meaning of the Pledge of Allegiance to his class. Skelton later wrote down, and eventually recorded, his recollection of this lecture. It is followed by an observation of his own.
I - - Me; an individual; a committee of one. Pledge - - Dedicate all of my worldly goods to give without self-pity. Allegiance - - My love and my devotion.
To the Flag - - Our standard; Old Glory ; a symbol of Freedom; wherever she waves there is respect, because your loyalty has given her a dignity that shouts, Freedom is everybody's job. United - - That means that we have all come together. States - - Individual communities that have united into forty-eight great states. Forty-eight individual communities with pride and dignity and purpose. All divided with imaginary boundaries, yet united to a common purpose, and that is love for country. And to the Republic - - Republic--a state in which sovereign power is invested in representatives chosen by the people to govern. And government is the people; and it's from the people to the leaders, not from the leaders to the people. For which it stands One Nation - - One Nation--meaning, so blessed by God. Indivisible - - Incapable of being divided. With Liberty - - Which is Freedom; the right of power to live one's own life, without threats, fear, or some sort of retaliation And Justice - - The principle, or qualities, of dealing fairly with others. For All - - For All--which means, boys and girls, it's as much your country as it is mine.
And now, boys and girls, let me hear you recite the Pledge of Allegiance:
I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic, for which it stands; one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Since I was a small boy, two states have been added to our country, and two words have been added to the Pledge of Allegiance: Under God.
Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer, and that would be eliminated from schools, too?
Red Skelton
Go here to check out Red's page on the Pledge of Allegiance
Where was God?
A letter was sent to asking "If there really is a GOD, how could He allow this to happen? Where was HE?" How many of us have heard that question "Where was your GOD when the World Trade Center and the Pentagon was attacked?"
Well I know where my GOD was the morning of September 11, 2001 and He was very busy!
He was trying to discourage anyone from taking these flights. Those four flights together held over 1000 passengers and there were only 266 aboard.
He was on 4 commercial flights giving terrified passengers the ability to stay calm. Not one of the family members who were called by a loved one on one of the high-jacked planes said that passengers were screaming in the background.
On one of the flights He was giving strength to passengers to "try" to overtake the high-jackers.
He was busy trying to create obstacles for employees at the World Trade Center. After all, only around 20,000 were at the towers when the 1st jet hit. Since the buildings held over 50,000 workers, this was a Miracle in itself. How many of the people who were employed at the World Trade Center told the media that they were late for work or they had traffic delays.
He was holding up "2" 110 story buildings so that 2/3 of the workers "could" get out. I was so amazed that the top of the towers didn't topple when the jets impacted. And when they did fall, they fell inward. GOD didn't allow them to topple over, as many more lives would have been lost.
And when the buildings went down, my GOD picked up almost 6,000 of His children and carried them home with Him ! Reassuring His frightened children that the worst was over and the "best" was yet to come.
He sat down and cried that 19 of His children could have so much hate in their hearts. That they didn't choose Him, but another god that doesn't exist, and now they are lost forever.
He sent His children, that are best trained for this disaster and had them save the few that were still alive, but unable to help themselves.
And then sent many others to help in anyway they were needed.
He still isn't finished though, He held the loved ones that were left behind in His arms. He comforts them daily. His other children are given the strength to reach out to them and help them in any way they can. And I believe He will continue to help us in what "is" yet to come.
He will give the people in charge of this great nation the strength and the wisdom to do the right thing. He would never leave us in our time of need.
So when anyone asks, "Where was your GOD on September 11", you can say "everywhere"! And yes, although this is without a doubt the worst thing I have seen in my life, I see God's miracles in every bit of it. I keep praying for those who don't believe in GOD, every chance I have. I can't imagine going through such a difficult time and not believing in GOD. Life would be hopeless.
May God Bless Our World ...
Captain's Speech
Aboard Flight 564 by Peter Hannaford
As it was at most U.S. airports, last Saturday was the first near-normal day at Denver International since the terrorist attacks. On United's Flight 564 the door had just been locked and the plane was about to pull out of the gate when the captain came on the public address system.
"I want to thank you brave folks for coming out today. We don't have any new instructions from the federal government, so from now on we're on our own."
The passengers listened in total silence. He explained that airport security measures had pretty much solved the problem of firearms being carried aboard, but not weapons of the type the terrorists apparently used, plastic knives or those fashioned from wood or ceramics.
"Sometimes a potential hijacker will announce that he has a bomb. There are no bombs on this aircraft and if someone were to get up and make that claim, don't believe him."
"If someone were to stand up, brandish something such as a plastic knife and say 'This is a hijacking' or words to that effect here is what you should do: Every one of you should stand up and immediately throw things at that person - pillows, books, magazines,eyeglasses, shoes -anything that will throw him off balance and distract his attention. If he has a confederate or two, do the same with them. Most important: get a blanket over him, then wrestle him to floor and keep him there. We'll land the plane at the nearest airport and the authorities will take it from there."
"Remember, there will be one of him and maybe a few confederates, but there are 200 of you. You can overwhelm them. "The Declaration of Independence says 'We, the people' and that's just what it is when we're up in the air: we, the people, vs. would-be terrorists. I don't think we are going to have any such problem today or tomorrow or for a while, but some time down the road, it is going to happen again and I want you to know what to do."
"Now, since we're a family for the next few hours, I'll ask you to turn to the person next to you, introduce yourself, tell them a little about yourself and ask them to do the same."
The end of this remarkable speech brought sustained clapping from the passengers. He had put the matter in perspective. If only the passengers on those ill-fated flights last Tuesday had been given the same talk, I thought, they might be alive today. One group on United Flight 93, which crashed in a Pennsylvania field, apparently rushed the hijackers in an attempt to wrest control from them. While they perished, they succeeded in preventing the terrorist from attacking his intended goal, possibly the White House or the Capitol.
Procedures for dealing with hijackers were conceived in a time when the hijackers were usually seeking the release of jailed comrades or a large amount of money. Mass murder was not their goal.
That short talk last Saturday by the pilot of Flight 564 should set a new standard of realism. Every passenger should learn the simple - but potentially life-saving - procedure he outlined. He showed his passengers that a hijacking does not have to result in hopelessness and terror, but victory over the perpetrators.
Mainstream media has not reported
the SURVIVAL rates and all the
positive news about the attacks.
So those of us on the net are holding the
banner of Good News up high.
Here is a fresh look at the numbers coming
out of New York, Washington and Pennsylvania.
The Buildings
The World Trade Center
The twin towers of the World Trade Center
were places of employment for 50,000 people.
With the current missing list of
6,500 people, that means
87% of them survived.
87% is a miraculous amount!
The Pentagon
23,000 people were the target of a
third plane aimed at the Pentagon.
The latest count shows 123 lost their
lives. That is an amazing 99.5% survival rate.
In addition, the plane seems to have
come in too low, too early to affect a
large portion of the building.
On top of that, the section that was hit
was the first of five sections to undergo
renovations to help protect the Pentagon
from terrorist attacks. It had recently
completed straightening and blast proofing,
saving untold lives.
The Planes
American Airlines Flight 77
This Boeing 757 flown into the Pentagon
could have carried up to 289 people,
yet only 64 were aboard.
Luckily 78% of the seats were empty.
American Airlines Flight 11
This Boeing 767 could have had up to
351 people aboard, but only carried 92.
Thankfully 74% of the seats were empty.
United Airlines Flight 175
Another Boeing 767 that could have
sat 351 people only had 65 people on
board. Fortunately it was 81% empty.
United Airlines Flight 93
This Boeing 757 was one of the
most uplifting stories yet. The smallest
flight to be hijacked with only 45 people
aboard out of a possible 289 had 84%
of its capacity unused. Yet these people
stood up to the attackers and thwarted a
fourth attempted destruction of a
national landmark, saving untold numbers
of lives in the process.
This was a Heroic Flight!
In Summary
Out of potentially 74,280 Americans
directly targeted 93% survived or
avoided the attacks. That's a higher
survival rate than heart attacks, breast
cancer, kidney transplants and liver transplants
all common, survivable illnesses.
The Hijacked planes were mostly empty,
the Pentagon was hit at its strongest point,
the overwhelming majority of people
in the World Trade Center buildings escaped,
and a handful of passengers gave the ultimate
sacrifice to save even more lives.
Religions of different faiths are holding
services together.
People are praying and speaking of
world peace in proportions never seen
before. We are asking to learn and
understand about our neighbors in
the world.
Many people were delayed from
reaching their flights and work the
day of the attack. Listen to
your intuition. God works in
quiet and mysterious ways.
